How Was YOUR Weekend?

For the last several years my sister and I have bought season tickets to Starlight Theater in Kansas City.  I have always loved going to musical productions.  I love the music, the atmosphere, the dressing up, everything about the 2 1/2 escape time.  As an added bonus, I get to sit beside one of my favorite people during this time.  

During my 24 hour trip to KC, we managed to:

1. Eat at a Eden Alley, a fabulous vegetarian restaurant where my first food baby of the weekend was conceived.  
2. See Spamalot where the Lady of the Lake rocked my socks.  
3. Eat the best french toast in town at a wonderful organic, all natural eatery: Blue Bird Bistro.  Soooo Gooood!
4. Walk around the River Market and bought yummy spices.
5. Conceive my 2nd food baby at El Salvadoreno in Overland Park.  Their cheese pupusas make me so happy!  

Not a bad way to spend an evening!

Really? 1 Year? Really??

I can't believe it's been a year since my last post.  Ugh!  I often think about writing.  Many days I come up with my clever title and a fun picture that will engage the viewers.  Much like life, though, I end up getting sidetracked and skip right over.  Well, here's an update:

1.  Friends - Some time ago Darling Bryan talked with me about my need for friends.  He would go out every other week and some weekend with his guy friends and I could see the importance of it.  I just didn't see my need for that kind of comrade connection.  I have my family, I have my work, I have my kids.  I didn't want to stretch into building a core group of girl friends.  Little did I know that like was going to go all willy nilly on me.  My sisters and brother were all out of town, my mother would be sick with cancer, and my boys would be independent thinkers and free spirits like their parents.  Because of the convo with Bryan, I had decided to dive in to some promising relationships.  In God's perfect timing, these friendships were born.  Just in time for my moment of need, I had declared myself all-in.  What could have been the most devastating time of my life, it was the most precious.  I will never be the same and I'm so grateful.

2.  Family - I am a proud mom.  I know that every mother thinks their child is beautiful, wonderful, and above average.  My children knock those children out of the park.  I don't know how these boys have turned out as amazing as they are.  In the past 12 months, we have had health issues batter down on our family unit.  We've lost loved ones.  We've been financially strapped.  And you know what?  They have weathered the storms stronger than any adult I know.  Need some potassium?  I have a 6-year-old budding nutritionist who will come up with a fix.  Homeless people need a friend?  I have a 10-year-old who talk with you and show you how to make paper airplanes because it can make your day better.  Need a hug?  These guys are the best huggers in town.

So, how did they end up like this? Easy - this guy.  

I can never say enough about the man I married.  He's my best friend.  He's a loving father.  He's a goofball and the geek to my nerd.  

3.  Fun.  Oh yes!  There was fun!

After all, if you can't find joy in the tough times, you'll miss the rainbow.  To smile and mean it is a beautiful thing.  And to love each other despite your surrounding circumstances makes this life totally worth it.  I love my life.  All the crazy, too.  It's like I've been given this gift of watercolor paints and I can choose what colors to use.  I choose bright.  I choose deep.  I choose rich.  I choose to create memories and cherish the experience of making the art.  I choose to find the fun.  

I don't know when I'll write again.  Fingers crossed that it will be soon.  If it's not, just know it's because I'm knee deep in color.     

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

You may not realize it but, I'm really a quirky kind of soul.  So, with that, here are a few of my favorite things that I think you should check out:

1.  It is my opinion that Mollie Busta, host of Mollie B's Polka Party is the most talented woman in these United States.  She can sing, dance, play the keyboard and trumpet at the same time.  She can play the saxophone and smile at the same time.  It's amazing!   You have got to check out her show.

2.  I love a good deal.  I recently discovered a website that posts new free Kindle books.  I have toyed with different sites and some of them are difficult to manuveur on an iphone.  Not here!  eReader IQ has easy to use filters and lots 'o content.  And once again: 

3.    The Bossa Nova rocks my socks.  I love to read while listening to some soothing covers by this group.  This company does covers of famous songs with a Bossa flair.  Quirky, yes!

Who I do not want to be

It's Begun

Yesterday we got the first round of chemo treatments.  Let me first say that the staff at Ellis Fischel have been amazing.  There are no words to describe how we felt from the beautiful ladies at the front desk to the nurses to administered the chemo.  The wonderful women in the gift shop and the volunteers to came and spoke with our family.  Even the nutritionist who tended to us posed for a picture with Mom and was great. 

I say we a lot.  I know that it's Mom who is going through the physical treatments but I also feel like it's a journey we are all taking together.  When we walked into the room, a lady was receiving treatment and was snuggled in her bed with her daughter.  Mom looked over and said, "If it were any you girls, that's exactly where I'd be."  You see, I was a part of my mother before my first breath.  She is the only person I can say was with me at my first heartbeat.  We are going through this in tandem and I know that she's right, if it were me, she'd be snuggled in bed with me watching "stories" together.  So, that being said, I'm going to chronicle my journey with Mom.  It's what I'm going through being her cheerleader.  Being Dad's co-pilot.  Being my sibling's informant. 

So, Day 1

This is how Mom's Chemo is delivered.  There were 5 different bags of fluid that went in through her port.  Our nurse was so sweet and toward the end she said, we're not cutting this short, you pay for every last drop.  They are in it to win it, too.

Real men wear pink...ribbons. 

The sweet volunteers gave mom a little card saying they voted her the "cutest patient of the day"  I agree, she's pretty darn cute. 

The thing about this picture is, they aren't holding hands because of cancer.  This is them.  It just took on a new meaning to me today.  They are partners on good days and on rotten ones.  I could probably count on one hand the times I've seen my parents kiss in front of me.  (Thanks for that!)  I couldn't count in a million years, though, the ways they have demonstrated their love for one another.  Whether it's holding hands down a hallway or sneaking a look out of the corner of my eye to see how one of them looks at the other in a way that says "I'm their biggest fan." 

Day 1, Treatment 1, done!



I'm Mad...There, I said it

Here's the deal, I seldom show a lot of emotion. Don't get me wrong, I have a smile on my face and I'm usually pretty even keeled. Sometimes I have worried that it's a result of some medications I have been taking. Well, I can now confirm that I am not without emotions entirely. I have them: anger, sadness, frustration. Sadly, it took something big to prove this to me. I have found something that makes me mad. It infuriates me so much that my eyes swell. I sob, I cry, I want to go Chuck Norris on something and hit a wall.

What could cause me to feel these things? Here it is: My mom has cancer. We found out through a routine mammogram that she has it in her left breast.  The crazy thing is that there isn't a lump.  Had we waited for a lump, it would have been too advanced.  Women!  Go get your mammograms!!  So, we have a surgery coming in the near future and post-op treatment on the horizon. 

It's amazing the things you take notice of when going through something like this.  Like the fact that before we hang up my mother says "bye Sweetie."  I'm pretty sure she doesn't do that to telemarketers or other callers.  Or how her hugs feel when you are leaving to go home.  Or going to the fabric store and working on a project and the only person you could imagine helping you with it is your mother. 

I'm mad at cancer.  It's hurt some of the best people I know.  It's taken my mothers reproductive system already and now it's stealing her breasts.  That makes me so mad.  It lurks and makes you feel uneasy because you wonder where we'll find it next.  It sucks joy out of life. 

So Far, So Good

This past weekend my hubby had to witness something very ugly.  You know the Lenten promise I made, yeah, it has some physical ramifications. 

This weekend I went into TJ Maxx, aka. My Drug of Choice.  I needed to buy a foam roller for some sore muscles.  I knew that they had some nice yoga and fitness supplies and a discounted price compared to sports stores.  After much discussion we decided this falls under the necessity line item and not "fun shopping"  My task: walk in, get roller, purchase (most important), then leave.  Simple enough?  Well, I walked into the store.  I could have sworn there were little fairies singing around me.  My nostrils flared, my pupils dilated, my heart physically beat quicker.  I had the shakes.  The clothes had the new-clothes smell, the flesh-colored patent shoes seemed more shiny then usual.  The Bento boxes were discounted and stacked so pretty.  The sunglasses looked a little rosier.  The hair products promised more.  I was a mess.  Sadly, I'm getting excited just typing this update.  After an excruciating 10 minutes of virtual shopping, I found my roller, bought it, and left. 

I'm sick.  I know.  Don't judge.