I'm Mad...There, I said it

Here's the deal, I seldom show a lot of emotion. Don't get me wrong, I have a smile on my face and I'm usually pretty even keeled. Sometimes I have worried that it's a result of some medications I have been taking. Well, I can now confirm that I am not without emotions entirely. I have them: anger, sadness, frustration. Sadly, it took something big to prove this to me. I have found something that makes me mad. It infuriates me so much that my eyes swell. I sob, I cry, I want to go Chuck Norris on something and hit a wall.

What could cause me to feel these things? Here it is: My mom has cancer. We found out through a routine mammogram that she has it in her left breast.  The crazy thing is that there isn't a lump.  Had we waited for a lump, it would have been too advanced.  Women!  Go get your mammograms!!  So, we have a surgery coming in the near future and post-op treatment on the horizon. 

It's amazing the things you take notice of when going through something like this.  Like the fact that before we hang up my mother says "bye Sweetie."  I'm pretty sure she doesn't do that to telemarketers or other callers.  Or how her hugs feel when you are leaving to go home.  Or going to the fabric store and working on a project and the only person you could imagine helping you with it is your mother. 

I'm mad at cancer.  It's hurt some of the best people I know.  It's taken my mothers reproductive system already and now it's stealing her breasts.  That makes me so mad.  It lurks and makes you feel uneasy because you wonder where we'll find it next.  It sucks joy out of life. 

So Far, So Good

This past weekend my hubby had to witness something very ugly.  You know the Lenten promise I made, yeah, it has some physical ramifications. 

This weekend I went into TJ Maxx, aka. My Drug of Choice.  I needed to buy a foam roller for some sore muscles.  I knew that they had some nice yoga and fitness supplies and a discounted price compared to sports stores.  After much discussion we decided this falls under the necessity line item and not "fun shopping"  My task: walk in, get roller, purchase (most important), then leave.  Simple enough?  Well, I walked into the store.  I could have sworn there were little fairies singing around me.  My nostrils flared, my pupils dilated, my heart physically beat quicker.  I had the shakes.  The clothes had the new-clothes smell, the flesh-colored patent shoes seemed more shiny then usual.  The Bento boxes were discounted and stacked so pretty.  The sunglasses looked a little rosier.  The hair products promised more.  I was a mess.  Sadly, I'm getting excited just typing this update.  After an excruciating 10 minutes of virtual shopping, I found my roller, bought it, and left. 

I'm sick.  I know.  Don't judge.

A Little Wild Life

Look out...the economy might tank!

One of my favorite services of the year is Ash Wednesday.  Granted, it took my mom some getting used to that our Baptist church has this service.  We do it all and I love it.  I have actually made lenten promises for years.  Some years I have given up soda with my sister.  In my wilder days I would give up bad words.  (Yeah, I said it).  Last year I gave up meat.  Little did I know that I would rarely pick it back up again.  So what, pray tell, am I giving up this year....

Shopping.

Yep.  I think giving up the meat, soda and profanities were cake compared to this little weakness.  I should probably clarity.  My family will still eat and we will have toilet paper.  It's the new shoes, cool kitchen gadgets, cute handbags, and Woot.com deals that are going away.  That's the kicker, no more Woot.  I'm pretty sure I single-handedly helped the online retailers stay afloat during the holiday season.  I would shop on my phone while still waking up in the morning.  It's a sickness. 

My first obstacle so far has been the boys Easter outfits.  I totally should have gotten that done before making this committment.  My solution - looks like the boys will be wearing matching ties and hats that their mother will be sewing.  This is a good time to clear out some of my fabric stash. 

Keep posted.  I'll probably need to vent from time to time over the next couple weeks!

Update on the Tickets

Well, the great news is that the week before Sebas' birthday, I found the tickets!!  The show was great.  Sebas liked the concert, Jackson was mesmerized by the concert. 

Where were the tickets?  In my closet, in a bag, in a book.  Naturally!

Help! I lose things!

I lose things. 

This isn't a new problem.  Rather, it's been a trend for as long as I can remember.  I don't know that there was a single year through school when I didn't lose my class schedule before my first day of class.  We would have the little red. black and white slip mailed during the summer time and we'd eagerly call friends and see what classes we had with friends.  Based off of those conversations, more often then not I'd piece together through process of elimination what my days would look like.  How I ever made it through school that way, I don't know.

Once upon a time Bryan got me a ring that I loved so much I named it...Ka-Chow.  I lovingly wore Ka-Chow all of 2 days before I lost it.  For weeks I relived the lost-schedule nightmare and looked all over the place for it.  Days passed.  Weeks passed.  MONTHS passed and I finally admitted to Bryan that Ka-Chow was gone.  This wouldn't have been so bad had I not lost our digital camera just weeks before.  Yep.  Not my best moment.  Later Bryan bought a replacement ring that I named Ka-Chugga and shortly after, Ka-Chow resurfaced.

When my mother was released from the hospital last year the physician tried to hand me the dismissal papers.  Luckily, Mom saw through her post-op, drug-induced fog to mutter the words.  "No, not Dulce.  She loses things."  Yep.  I lose things.

All that to say, I have managed to lose not one but BOTH of the boys birthday presents.  I am scouring the house, looking through boxes and stacks of paper.  Looking at our "go-to" spots for important things.  No luck.  In an attempt to reduce clutter a few years back, I started buying tickets to shows for birthdays.  Jackson has gone to Blue Man Group, Cirque Illumination, Cirque Montage and others as a birthday present.  Somewhere hidden in the house are 4 tickets to Cirque Dreams: Pop Goes the Rock.  This should be the first year that we start this with Sebastian and I have secured 4 tickets to see STOMP.   

I'm hoping to foster a love of the theater like I have.  So far it's been working pretty well.  I'm thinking we may have to put a new twist on things, though, and say they have to find their curiously hidden present first. 

Boohoo Woohoo

Jackson's has started the 3rd grade, if you can believe it!  Clothes were set out, lunch was packed, forms were signed and we were shockingly early for Stevens'. 

I was able to help the PTO by setting up for our Boohoo Woohoo breakfast for Kindergarten students.  It's a new event that our new principal brought.  Behold, the flyer of this fun event: