Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Something must be in the water nowadays because there are several friends and acquaintances who are with child right now. It makes me a little nostalgic and I think back on where I was when I waited for my sons to arrive.
Here's the thing, I've only been pregnant twice. I'm hardly a Duggar or Osmond with a gaggle of kids but 2 is a respectable number. I must admit, they were ridiculously blissful pregnancies. Of course, I may feel that way because they happened 10 and 6 years ago and time erases the discomfort quicker than the stretch marks. Now that's not to say the process was uneventful.
Some people may not remember or know that we had Placenta Previa (that's right, I said placenta) with Jackson and some tough talks were had as a result. We knew that there was a possibility one or both of us might not make it the 9 months. I wish the conversations we had for no one as my husband had to hear what my preferences were if I were unable to make decisions for myself. All that to say, that child was bathed in prayer before his first breath and we experienced a miracle in the 3rd trimester that resulted in a bouncing baby boy through a great delivery. (Seriously, all deliveries should be so awesome).
So, here's what I would say to those sweet ladies whose lives are about to change:
1. You do not get an extra crown in heaven for passing on the epidural. If I could have, I would have named my kids after the anesthesiologist. That hunky, hunky man. That said, remember that you are still in charge of what's going on. I knew when it was time to get the show on the road and said my goodbyes to the family and it's time for them to give me my space. Listen to your body!
2. Sometimes, well-meaning husbands can not for the life of them keep track of contractions. Bless them! At one point St. Bryan was convinced I had an 18 minute contraction. He had actually fallen asleep. So, while parenting books may want you to include them in the labor process, find a stopwatch or clock of your own.
3. If you find yourself feeling like a time bomb about to go off, remember these are the last little kicks and stretches you'll feel from that little one inside. Just smile as if you two have your own little joke. Pretty soon you'll have to share that child with the world! For now, they're all yours.
4. Baby Blues is totally fake. JUST KIDDING!! I am typically the happiest of humans. But, on day 6 I found myself in my bedroom rocking in bed with my baby in my arms like a mother bear. THIS is when you need to rely on your hubby, co-parent, or helper to clear the air. Casserole at the front door? Thanks! We'll see you later. Someone on the phone? They'll have to call you later. Come up with canned answers and stick to the script! You'll get through it in a couple days.
5. Get a note for the door saying that those who ring the doorbell will need to be responsible for getting the crying baby back to sleep.
6. Ignore advice-givers. Yes, I realize this would now include me! There are well-meaning people out there who can give great advice for what worked for them. That's not to say it will work for you. Of my 2 kids, they were as different as day is to night. By the time they drew in their first breath, I knew them. I knew #1 was an extrovert and #2 was a snugglebug. I also knew they loved me and I loved them. Still do. So much.
7. The spread-eagle baby on your chest sleeping position is the best feeling in the whole world. Hands down.
So, there you have it. I have reminisced and pep-talked you through these final days. Amazing, exhausting, and life-changing. And no, I'm not doing it again! Those chips are cashed in!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
For the last several years my sister and I have bought season tickets to Starlight Theater in Kansas City. I have always loved going to musical productions. I love the music, the atmosphere, the dressing up, everything about the 2 1/2 escape time. As an added bonus, I get to sit beside one of my favorite people during this time.
During my 24 hour trip to KC, we managed to:
- Eat at a Eden Alley, a fabulous vegetarian restaurant where my first food baby of the weekend was conceived.
- See Spamalot where the Lady of the Lake rocked my socks.
- Eat the best french toast in town at a wonderful organic, all natural eatery: Blue Bird Bistro. Soooo Gooood!
- Walk around the River Market and bought yummy spices.
- Conceive my 2nd food baby at El Salvadoreno in Overland Park. Their cheese pupusas make me so happy!
Posted by Dulce at 10:21 AM
Friday, May 31, 2013
I can't believe it's been a year since my last post. Ugh! I often think about writing. Many days I come up with my clever title and a fun picture that will engage the viewers. Much like life, though, I end up getting sidetracked and skip right over. Well, here's an update:
1. Friends - Some time ago Darling Bryan talked with me about my need for friends. He would go out every other week and some weekend with his guy friends and I could see the importance of it. I just didn't see my need for that kind of comrade connection. I have my family, I have my work, I have my kids. I didn't want to stretch into building a core group of girl friends. Little did I know that like was going to go all willy nilly on me. My sisters and brother were all out of town, my mother would be sick with cancer, and my boys would be independent thinkers and free spirits like their parents. Because of the convo with Bryan, I had decided to dive in to some promising relationships. In God's perfect timing, these friendships were born. Just in time for my moment of need, I had declared myself all-in. What could have been the most devastating time of my life, it was the most precious. I will never be the same and I'm so grateful.
2. Family - I am a proud mom. I know that every mother thinks their child is beautiful, wonderful, and above average. My children knock those children out of the park. I don't know how these boys have turned out as amazing as they are. In the past 12 months, we have had health issues batter down on our family unit. We've lost loved ones. We've been financially strapped. And you know what? They have weathered the storms stronger than any adult I know. Need some potassium? I have a 6-year-old budding nutritionist who will come up with a fix. Homeless people need a friend? I have a 10-year-old who talk with you and show you how to make paper airplanes because it can make your day better. Need a hug? These guys are the best huggers in town.
So, how did they end up like this? Easy - this guy.
Posted by Dulce at 10:35 AM
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
You may not realize it but, I'm really a quirky kind of soul. So, with that, here are a few of my favorite things that I think you should check out:
1. It is my opinion that Mollie Busta, host of Mollie B's Polka Party is the most talented woman in these United States. She can sing, dance, play the keyboard and trumpet at the same time. She can play the saxophone and smile at the same time. It's amazing! You have got to check out her show.
2. I love a good deal. I recently discovered a website that posts new free Kindle books. I have toyed with different sites and some of them are difficult to manuveur on an iphone. Not here! eReader IQ has easy to use filters and lots 'o content. And once again:
3. The Bossa Nova rocks my socks. I love to read while listening to some soothing covers by this group. This company does covers of famous songs with a Bossa flair. Quirky, yes!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Yesterday we got the first round of chemo treatments. Let me first say that the staff at Ellis Fischel have been amazing. There are no words to describe how we felt from the beautiful ladies at the front desk to the nurses to administered the chemo. The wonderful women in the gift shop and the volunteers to came and spoke with our family. Even the nutritionist who tended to us posed for a picture with Mom and was great.
I say we a lot. I know that it's Mom who is going through the physical treatments but I also feel like it's a journey we are all taking together. When we walked into the room, a lady was receiving treatment and was snuggled in her bed with her daughter. Mom looked over and said, "If it were any you girls, that's exactly where I'd be." You see, I was a part of my mother before my first breath. She is the only person I can say was with me at my first heartbeat. We are going through this in tandem and I know that she's right, if it were me, she'd be snuggled in bed with me watching "stories" together. So, that being said, I'm going to chronicle my journey with Mom. It's what I'm going through being her cheerleader. Being Dad's co-pilot. Being my sibling's informant.
So, Day 1
Monday, March 26, 2012
Here's the deal, I seldom show a lot of emotion. Don't get me wrong, I have a smile on my face and I'm usually pretty even keeled. Sometimes I have worried that it's a result of some medications I have been taking. Well, I can now confirm that I am not without emotions entirely. I have them: anger, sadness, frustration. Sadly, it took something big to prove this to me. I have found something that makes me mad. It infuriates me so much that my eyes swell. I sob, I cry, I want to go Chuck Norris on something and hit a wall.
What could cause me to feel these things? Here it is: My mom has cancer. We found out through a routine mammogram that she has it in her left breast. The crazy thing is that there isn't a lump. Had we waited for a lump, it would have been too advanced. Women! Go get your mammograms!! So, we have a surgery coming in the near future and post-op treatment on the horizon.
It's amazing the things you take notice of when going through something like this. Like the fact that before we hang up my mother says "bye Sweetie." I'm pretty sure she doesn't do that to telemarketers or other callers. Or how her hugs feel when you are leaving to go home. Or going to the fabric store and working on a project and the only person you could imagine helping you with it is your mother.
I'm mad at cancer. It's hurt some of the best people I know. It's taken my mothers reproductive system already and now it's stealing her breasts. That makes me so mad. It lurks and makes you feel uneasy because you wonder where we'll find it next. It sucks joy out of life.