It's been 4 years

Four years ago our doctor whispered "Happy Birthday" to our child then handed him to Bryan.  Actually, there was probably a nurse or two in there somewhere but I was laying back and feeling real good. 

I knew Sebastian before he ever made eye contact with me.  I knew when he did and didn't want to be messed with.  I knew that he would only kick when he wanted to and when he did, look out.  I knew that he would want to snuggle with me and tune out the outside world from time to time.  And I knew that I would love him more than the sun and the moon.  I still do.

What I didn't know is the shades of color he would bring into my world.  I didn't know that he would be so hilariously funny.  I didn't know that he would be his brother's best friend and also his bully.  I didn't know that he would be able to eat 8 clementines in a given day and follow them with some hellacious gas.  I didn't know that when he turned 4, he would still snuggle with me and let me rock him for a little while longer. 

I love my son, Sebastian.  More and more every day he stretches my heart greater than he ever did my stomach (and I have the marks to prove it).  I can't wait to see what our next year holds. 

Would You Be My Friend?

So, a little something people may not realize about me is that I really suck at making friends.  I take that back, I can make friends and acquaintances but I've rarely had a Central Perk-Friends relationship.  You see, I often feel like I'm back in elementary school with a bad perm and glasses who was told that she was invited to a birthday party because the other girl's mother made her.  I have always wanted a Ya-Ya Sisterhood kind of bond with people but instead I come up short.  Here's the thing, I always feel like I'm not worthy of the friendship people give me.  I am terrible at correspondence.  I don't typically pick up the phone and dish about current events.  I'm more likely to be fashionably late than dutifully on time.  So, I'm don't fit the "best friend" criteria others may have.  Here's the thing, though.  I have a list of people that I consider my best friends.  Not because I deserve them, I don't.  It's because that in their awesomeness, they have accepted me.  Not as their best friend, they could do far better.  Honestly, the insecure frizzy haired bespeckled girl inside of me is delighted they talk to me at all.  So, here is a laundry list of some people.

I have a best friend named Bryan.  He loves me without my makeup and when I'm in sweats.  He tells me he loves me every day.  He thinks I'm beautiful or, at least, convinces me that he does.  He gets my quirkiness and moodiness.  He holds me when I fall apart and gives me space to move when I get antsy.  It's a delicate balance to live with me and he does it very well.  I love that guy.

I have this best friend named Jessica.  When they wrote the fruits of the spirit, it was actually a description of Jess.  You know how there are some people who seem to be near perfect.  Well, I met this perfect friend when we were 15.  We had to bunk together at Windermere for a whole summer.  Amazingly, she looked through my faults and obnoxious Goofy shirts and befriended me.  We have stood up in each others weddings, held each others newborns and watched our children play together.  In our 19+ year friendship her kindness has never wavered.  I have never once had a bad thought about her.  In her grace and kindness, she calls me her friends still.

I have this best friend named Heather.  She has a life about her that is incredible.  She proudly wears the necklaces to church that her children make her and isn't scared to dance with them in the middle of a Baptist wedding reception.  She sends cards just because.  I don't know what on earth I have done to deserve her as a friend.  I often wonder how she does it.  How does she radiate God's love to others just by breathing?  Does she make others feel the same way she makes me feel?  Loved, accepted, special, hopeful?  I would have loved to know her in high school.  I would have loved to have known her as a person on her wedding day.  I cherish that friendship like a precious treasure. 

I have these best friends known as the "Clique."  A group of misfits landed in Roach Missouri from all corners of Missouri, a Kansan and an Iowan.  Magic was made.  I can still to this day call that the happiest time of my life.  Sitting around talking about nothing and everything.  Crammed in the back of a Mustang to buy sunglasses or play ski-ball.  Doing a lip sync routine to a Gilda Radner SNL sketch.  How did I get the cool kids to like me?  I would sit there and wonder, do they really like me?  Am I contributing anything to their enjoyment?  Am I the one they took pity on and let me hang out?  I still don't know 100% percent but we still contact each other and I know that I would drop anything to be by their sides if they needed me.  I am like a fish without water being in a city without these friends sometimes. 

I have other best friends: 

• Kim who shows me that faith lived out is a beautiful thing.  Time with family is precious and fleeting and should be a priority.  
• Elaine who isn't afraid to show her feelings and can spot when I'm having a tough day in 30 seconds or less. 
• Kari, who actually accepted my sister's little sister as her friend.  She has more talent in her little finger than I do in my whole body. 
• Katherine who amazes me weekly.  Despite being harassed by me, her Bible Study leader, she excels in life.  She is a phenomenal mother.  She is so comfortable in her own skin it's ridiculous.  She goes to class and gets honors.  I am amazed that she likes me at all!

See, I am not worthy of any of them.  In most cases this is the first I have said that I call them my best friends when they aren't listening.  I dare not speak it out loud because they may take that title away.  They may confess that they are forced to be my friend by their mothers.  Here's the thing, I wouldn't be the person I am without them.  I wouldn't be proud of my inner nerd.  I wouldn't dance just because.  All I know is that my love and admiration only grows.  Thank you friends. 

Christmas 2010

Steve Harvey Introduces Jesus

People Let Me Tell You 'Bout My Best Friend

When the boys returned one day from Grammie and Grampy's, they had a new friend with them.  They have named him Steve.  Well, Steve has turned out to be the most docile passive aggressive toad in the Animal Planet.  Steve loves to swim, perch on the rock mountain we made for him and swim some more.  What he does not seem to love is eating the grasshopper we lovingly caught for him.  Now, in his defense, this hopper's a bully.  When in a staring contest, the hopper wins.  If in a jumping contest, yep, the hopper wins.  In fact, last evening the hopper actually jumped off Steve's back to then claim his rightful title of King of the Mountain.  Steve watched from a lower perch as the whole thing.

Oh the trials of trying to keep a little toad alive so your little ones can have a pet.  If only we can keep him properly fed so he doesn't hop off to his greater reward. 

Happy Wednesday!!

In honor of World Cup - a Vargas Family holiday

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